Just Another Lazy Sunday Afternoon

As the title would have implied, I'm wasting my time away just lying on the sofa reading a book on my lappie. Haven't had much time lately to 'waste' away like this ever since I started working. Working itself is not as hard as juggling and managing my time, and the people around me that I cared about, also the most carefully guarded subject, money $$$. Lol. These are important stuffs which I was never shed light on, till I started my first career ever. Well lets skip the seriousness and boredom of work-related subjects, it's a Sunday after all, it's meant for people to laze around, I guess, at least for me.

Speaking of which, after hours of moulding myself to the sofa and reading that ebook, I was left a little frustrated, craving for more, as that bloody book left me with a hanging ending. And it doesn't end at that, but also gave me a constant neck-ache, light headedness, and also an empty stomach. Well nothing less to expect for since I practically glued myself to the sofa for hours, exactly like a paralyzed being, difference being me having the choice of moving, latter, not.

Well that was for the previous novel I was reading, its titled Where We Belong by Emily Griffin. Good story, but I don't fancy the ending, just a heads up. Now moving onto another one, Twenties Girl by Sophie Kinsella, story's interesting, funny lines here and there, got me cracked up with laughters every now and then. I know how I would've seemed to go bonkers laughing to myself like that, but oh well, its too funny sometimes to stifle a laugh.

Okay, enough of my ramblings, shall sign off for now. Till the next post then. :)

So, what's next?

Its mind-numbing how the thought of one person can evoke so little hope and yet so much disappointments. I can't even begin to fathom what is it about this person that often drives me so insane up and down the roller coaster of emotions. My mind is always telling me rationally how I should make a retreat, and yet my heart is always racing forward, towards what I call now, an abyss of darkness, a place forlorn of all hope. Despite the name, my heart still long for this cold place. The only restrain I could manage is the belief that what I wanted is not in there, and never will be there.

So here I am, always unable to untangle myself from these strings of emotions. And despite any distances, I still care, and I still think about it from time to time. What's different now is how I've embraced it, and I'm glad I'm not so broken, not so dysfunctional.

Who would have known my life will turn out like this. But I am happy now, I guess, of course, there are things here and there that could be better, but its okay. I've learnt to be contented with life. Its amazing how any simple decisions can lead to a chain of most unthought-of events. I've learnt that you can hardly stop caring for people whom you care about a whole lot, and the best that you can do is just to wish them the best in all that they do, and move on with your life.