Friday, December 30, 2011

I know its hard but, breathe.

When one is in darkness, he or she tends to feel lost and seek guidance from the light. But if one can come to acceptance with the dark, one can gain comfort and flourish, even in complete darkness.

The worst shall come to past, and it can only get better (since its the worst already isn't it). Best things always come, or happen when you least expect them to, so, don't expect and you might find yourself pleasantly surprised. I hope.

Just a glimpse

I love waking up early (occasionally), to enjoy fresh breathe of morning air.

There is a smell to morning air that seems to make me feel refreshed and light. Coolness of the air, and warmth of the sunshine, best coupled with a faint smell of coffee in the air. Mmmmm. The best things in life are mostly free, aren't they? (note the word 'mostly', lol) Sometimes you gotta stop what you're doing for a while and have a moment to appreciate and be thankful for the things around you, you'll find that life is more fulfilling and alleviating that way.

Just want to say, its nice meeting you. :)

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

What say you?

I found this picture today. A picture I took with my parents after graduation.

Come to think of it, things are not so bad isn't it. I've graduated within the minimum time frame, made some friends along the way, its been one hell of an experience I would say. Three years ago, I came brokenhearted but hopeful, and now I'm brokenhearted, again, but feeling in peace. Its amazing how we can still love from all the little broken pieces, isn't it.

Why dwell on the past when we can't change them anymore? Yes, occasionally we would mourn for what we lost, but life goes on anyway. Its a balance that we need.

I have never looked at life this way before, but now that I think about it, I still have a long stretch of future and life ahead of me. Bright future maybe? I hope. There's many things I want to achieve, but my first goal would be, to have a purpose and be contented. 

Life is a tapestry woven by the decisions we made.

Now, I just need to make the right ones, and hope for the best. Right? 

Sunday, December 18, 2011

iHate

How things are right now.
How I feel about them.
How I think that there's gotta be something more,
but to be disappointed again and again in the end.
How I tried to force thoughts out of my mind,
but to fail terribly.
How I convinced and comforted myself,
only to discover that I'm not feeling any much better.

Sigh.

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Barely a whisper

You don't have to feel like a waste of space,
you're original, cannot be replaced,
if you only know what the future holds,
after a hurricane comes the rainbow.


Maybe you're the reason why all the doors are closed,
so you could open the one that leads you to your soul.

-

Never really celebrated Christmas before, wonder how it feels like to spend a blissful day with loved ones. Oh well, I can only imagine.. :)

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Grief

I hate to feel what I'm feeling, to see what I'm seeing and to think what I'm thinking. No matter how I hide or run away, they'll find me again in the end. I have no way to make them go away.

If only there's a button to turn off all of these.

If only...

Monday, December 12, 2011

12.12.2011

“People are afraid to pursue their most important dreams because they feel that they don’t deserve them, or that they’ll be unable to achieve them. We, their hearts, become fearful just thinking of loved ones who go away forever, or of moments that could have been good but weren’t, or of treasures that might have been found but were forever hidden in the sands. Because when these things happen, we suffer terribly.”


Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist.

Friday, December 9, 2011

Value

You can have the latest smartphone, or a brand new laptop, but they serve no purpose if you have no one to communicate with, or anything to do with it. Then, even the state of the art piece of gadget will be rendered useless. Likewise for one's life. It will be empty and worthless, if there is no purpose to it.

I am always realizing things late. Sometimes, too late. When will I learn, I wonder?

Thursday, December 8, 2011

It was today

A picture perfect moment, there's the sun, and then there's you. Gleaming eyes, the perfect smile, the enthusiasm in your voice, and I knew the reason why. It was a moment I will never forget. I was reminded how great things were. 

It was a one-way street that I took. One which I regretted terribly. 

Maybe its for the best. I convinced myself, though my heart says otherwise.

I know someday, somebody out there will then replace that place. And they will be the nothing I never was.

Perhaps in a parallel universe, its a happy ending. Maybe therefrom I can get some comfort.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Goodbye November

I've learnt a lot during your visit this time of the year. I can't say I enjoy most of the days that you brought me, but there certainly were a few unforgettable moments I had. I hope things will be better next year.

Hello December.

I've come to you alone this time around. Not a melancholy month, are you? 

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Like today never happened



Hello all! Jayesslee's big fan is back today to share their latest cover, Dare You To Move by Switchfoot. It was originally one of my favourite songs and now after they did the cover, I just love it more! :)

Okay so I downloaded its mp3 and cut it myself, now I can play it whenever I want to. Hehe. Their recordings are really of high quality, sounded as if its recorded in a recording studio. :O Anyways, I thought I'll share it here as well if you're as mad as me about that song. Haha.

Mediafire download link.

Enjoy!

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Gothic, very gothic indeed

Read a book (an e-book actually) that pretty much left me in despair. Not that its not good, it just, didn't end the way I wanted it to. Left all these dark and miserable feelings lingering with me whole day. Hmmmmm...

It is a book named Affinity by Sarah Waters, just in case you're wondering. This author really has her ways in telling a story, and this is particularly a gloomy one. Perhaps I was too absorbed with the character that I really feel for her. Certain times I was so nervous that I pulled my face just to smother it, almost thought my face is going to be deformed then! Towards the end, I just couldn't breathe but had to keep reading. And I didn't want it to end then, so much to bear! Gosh.

Maybe not reading reviews or summaries before plunging in is not such a good idea after all.

T________________T

Oh what a story.

Friday, October 28, 2011

A little bit of honesty

I had been giving some thoughts about my life. Wondering why it is as it is right now. I don't know what I want to do with it nor any directions that I should be heading. Yes I am feeling lost, and I think it is mostly because of my decision to further my studies.

Taking this CFA course right after I graduate doesn't seem to be the right choice for me. Though decided on this path, I am still doubting. I loathe going to its classes, tests etc. I knew I lacked the passion to study this subject, had been trying to convince myself that its okay and it'll get better. But it never did. And not having any company to go through this with is making it much worse. I've never felt such loneliness in my life, ever.

I think I made a very wrong decision in this.

The truth was there all the time, I was in denial. I never liked it, why am I taking it?

I had been doing things which other people had wanted or expected me to do. In this case, mostly of my dad's, and perhaps my own expectations of myself. Of course he would've said that its my choice entirely, but my decision made was always out of conscience that he wanted me to do it or that I should do it.

I often wonder why I'm so conscious of people's expectations on me, and thinking how they'll think of me, of my actions. Maybe its because I knew that they care and I didn't want to disappoint them. Because 'I can do it'. But whether I want to do it, that's entirely another question.

I'm always trying to do the 'right thing', always analyzing and weighing my options before deciding. Very seldomly I do anything on impulse, and that very few coincidences always left me beating myself up thinking of the consequences and how it'll cost me. Ends up, I never enjoyed myself, I was never fully freed.

Is doing the 'right thing' the right thing to do?

If I were to give up, is that wrong? I skipped my tests, that's wrong. Someone told me, 'you're going to fail your final exams'. Well that's not very comforting, is it? I shouldn't fail any exams. I shouldn't give up. I should be responsible for my actions, my decisions. That's right.

Guess that's the main problem to all the unhappiness and the choices that I resented making in the past. I'm not a risk taker. Because I was afraid of whatever that might come. Of not living up the expectations, or not having the end results that I want. So I guess I won't be doing anything about it, for now, or maybe I never will.

Let's face it, I'm a coward. A very unhappy one indeed.

Monday, October 24, 2011

o.O

So what do you do after that?

莫名的孤独


不知道是自己不善于表达 还是在于其他原因,时常被误会。解释却又弄巧反拙。也不知道什么时候开始变得孤僻,非常不喜欢这种感觉,却又不知道该怎么做...

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Friday, October 7, 2011

Uh huh.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

'Optimist' Prime!

Be an Optimist Prime, not a Negatron!
 A twist from the movie Transformers. This is so creative and inspiring. :)

Credit to the artist Avid on DeviantArt. :)

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

You can't truly have an open heart until it's been broken.

Well said.

Monday, September 26, 2011

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Deliciously Yummy


I'm sure some of you been to this place before, Delicious Cafe slash restaurant, and I must say, I really enjoyed my dining experience there. Hence, a blog post dedicated to it. :) 

I went to the outlet at One Utama, there's one at Mid Valley, another new one at Sunway Pyramid as well (though I got few bad comments on the one at Pyramid, something got to do with flies, hmmm.). Well basically they serve a wide variety of food, just about everything you can expect from a Cafe. (view the website/menu here)

The ambience is great, comfortable, a nice place to hang out with friends and families. Though I must say, their waitress service isn't quite up to standard at this particular outlet.

A frosty lime lychee, this is a pleasantly refreshing drink. Love this one.
(Didn't take this picture, was busy enjoying the drink and forgot to take a snapshot. Got this image from Google. Haha)

This is a duck confit spaghetti, which tastes absolutely delicious!

A berrylicious chocolate pavlova.
Well, that is not quite what I was expecting of a pavlova, as I thought the center would be soft and creamy. It was all crunchy and sugary, the whole thing. But bottom line, its still good.

Well, first impression, good food, check, good atmosphere, check. Just gotta come back for more ey? :)


Friday, September 23, 2011

Hope is a Dream That Doesn't Sleep..

I just can't stop listening to this song. Its so... soothing, and touching to me.

This song is an OST to a Korean drama named the Baker King, Kim Tak Goo, sung by Kyuhyun, a member of Super Junior apparently. (I've never liked Super Junior, their songs are really not my type. Oh well.) But I must say, I am impressed with this guy pulling off a song like this. I watched this show on TV recently and that pretty much explains my current addiction to this song. :) I find the lyrics in this song particularly meaningful so I've included them below, with a little bit of tweaking. :)

Lyrics:
It doesn’t matter if I’m lonely. 
Whenever I think of you 
A smile spreads across my face. 


It doesn’t matter if I’m tired. 
Whenever you are happy 
My heart is filled with love.


Today I might live in a harsh world again. 
Even if I’m tired, when I close my eyes, I see only you. 
The dreams that are still ringing in my ears 
Are leaving my side towards you.


Everyday my life is like a dream. 
If we can look at each other and love each other
I’ll stand up again. 
To me, the happiness of those precious memories 
Will be warmer during hard times. 
For me, hope is a dream that never sleeps.


Like a shadow by my side, you always
Quietly come to me. 
To see if I’m hurt, to see if I’m lonely 
Everyday, with feelings of yearning, you come to me.


Even if the world makes me cry, I’m okay. 
Because you are always by my side. 
Like dust, will those good memories change and leave? 
I’ll keep smiling to ease my heart.


Everyday my life is like a dream. 
If we can look at each other and love each other 
I’ll stand up again. 
To me, the happiness of those precious memories 
Will be warmer during hard times. 
For me, hope is a dream that never sleeps.


No matter how many times I stumble and fall 
I’m still standing like this. 
I only have one heart. 
When I’m tired you become my strength.


My heart is yours forever.


So I swallowed the hurt and grief. 
I’ll only show you my smiling faces. 
It doesn’t even hurt now. 
I’ll always hold on to the dreams that I want to fulfill with you 
I’ll try to call for you at a place that I cannot reach
With all my heart, I love you.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Breathe

Another wallpaper that I stumbled across and thought I'd share it.
A simple one, hope you guys like it. :)

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Oldies, yes?


Good morning! I woke up feeling a little bright today. Brushed my teeth, put the pot to the stove, made myself a good cup of coffee, turned on Anne Murray on the player and I can't believe how much I'm enjoying myself now. Judging from how I've disliked Anne Murray and coffee in the past, shit, I think I'm getting old. Geez.

Oh, maybe you'll wonder, who the hell is Anne Murray?? Well, I don't know as well. Hahaha. Just Google up if you're curious. But I do recommend her songs, well, if you're feeling old, you can try listening to her.. :/

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Out of Misery

Most of the time to be honest.

But I don't want to care anymore, my world resolves around me, not you. There I used to think that things will be different, and I was always willing to go the extra mile for you, but I realize now I've been putting up with all these for a long time, and nothing's changed. You get what you wanted, but what do I get in the end? I refuse to let myself be upset because of you anymore. Don't expect for the door to be open now that you've walked out of it.

Monday, September 19, 2011

Rain Rain Go Away?

Its been raining quite frequently for the past few days.
Chilly weather, some may like it some may not. Oh well, make sure you don't catch the cold. Take care people! As for me, I'm gonna sleep and just laze whole day long. :D

Friday, September 16, 2011

Whoops its Jayesslee again!


They're just great. The way they interpret songs and making them their own. 
Just gotta love it! <3

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Optimus Prime

The coolest looking robot everrrr.
This'll be my new ass rocking wallpaper. Rawrrrr.
It doesn't get anymore cooler than that, no? XD
(click on the picture to get the wallpaper resolution ^ ^)

And this reminds me, I haven't watch Transformers 3 yet!! >.<

坚持着什么?


有时候,同样的一件事情,我们可以去安慰别人,却说服不了自己。

热恋时爱情,可以什么都不在乎。只要你要,只要我有,因为我爱你,所以我愿意。一旦感情平复了下来,心中就会出现接连不断的计较,为什么我付出的比你多; 为什么我什么都可以给你,你却要有所隐瞒,然后冷战,争吵,分手,和好,冷战 ... 走得过的就是执子之手,走不过的就只能缅怀当初。

在爱情没开始以前,你永远想象不出会那样地爱一个人; 在爱情没结束以前,你永远想象不出那样的爱也会消失; 在爱情被忘却以前,你永远想象不出那样刻骨铭心的爱也会只留淡淡痕迹; 在爱情重新开始以前,你永远想象不出还能再一次找到那样的爱情。

有些人一直没机会见,等有机会见了,却又犹豫了。有些事一直没机会做,等有机会了,却不想再做了。有些话埋藏在心中好久,没机会说,等有机会说的时候,却说不出口了。有些爱一直没机会爱,等有机会了,已经不爱了。有些话有很多机会说的,却想着以后再说,要说的时候,却已经没机会了。

有时候,面对着身边的人,突然觉得说不出话。有时候,曾经一直坚持的东西一夜间面目全非。有时候,想放纵自己,希望自己痛痛快快歇斯底里地发一次疯。有时候,别人突然对你说,我觉得你变了,然后自己开始百感交集。有时候,觉得自己拥有着整个世界,一瞬间却又觉得自己其实一无所有...

Monday, September 12, 2011

Bloody Hell

Shut up Tan Ke Yi.
Shut the fuck up.

Just Another Day


Sunshine to brighten up the day.
For me and everyone else. Good afternoon peeps.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Pieces of Thoughts

I guess relationships are just funny like that. It's impossible to figure out why some work out and others don't. Why someone can be so imperfect and still be the perfect person for you. Maybe, in the end, it's not about changing the person you care about. Maybe it's about learning what you can live with. Or maybe it's really about learning what you can't live without.


I no longer believed in the idea of soul mates, or love at first sight. But I am beginning to believe that a very few times in your life, if you were lucky, you might meet someone who was exactly right for you. Not because he was perfect, or because you were, but because your combined flaws were arranged in a way that allowed two separate beings to hinge together.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

TwentyFirst

Introducing my new yellow friend over here. Cuteness. :D

Thank you. :)

Friday, August 19, 2011

I Miss...

the beach.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Into Your Arms

Yeah I'm in a super good mood today. :)

Isn't this cute? >.<
Mmmmm feel like eating Cheerios now. Heheh.

Okay so this is the 201th post, dedicated to everyone who's reading this post right now. Have a great day ahead! :)

Smile


The song Smile by Avril Lavigne. <3

I am addicted to this song! Love the MV too. :)


Here's the making / behind the scenes of the MV. :)

Lyrics:
You know that I'm a crazy bitch,
I do what I want when I feel like it,
All I wanna do is loose control.
But you don't really give a shit,
You go with it go with it go with it,
Cause you're fucking crazy rock-n-roll.

You said hey,
What's your name?
It took one look,
And now I'm not the same.
Yeah you said hey,
And since that day,
You stole my heart and you're the one to blame.
Yeah.

And that's why,  I smile,
It's been a while,
Since everyday and everything has felt this right.
And now,
You turn it all around,
And suddenly you're all I need,
The reason why I smile.

Last night I blacked out I think,
What did you what did you put in my drink?
I remember making out and then,
I woke up with a new tattoo,
Your name was on me and my name was on you,
I would do it all over again.

You said hey,
What's your name?
It took one look,
And now I'm not the same.
You said hey,
And since that day,
You stole my heart and you're the one to blame.
Yeah.

And that's why, I smile,
Its been a while,
Since everyday and everything has felt this right,
And now,
You turn it all around,
And suddenly you're all I need,
The reason why I smile.

Monday, July 11, 2011

Impressed.. yes?

Presenting the new Olympus PEN series, the PEN EP3, PEN Lite and PEN Mini.


Watch the video to find out what's new!

It seems that Olympus had really improved the specs of their Micro Four Thirds cameras. Also, their auto focus speed being the fastest among all interchangeable lens camera is quite fascinating to know. I'm guessing the PEN Lite and Mini were up to compete against the Sony's NEX series and also the Lumix GF2 or the recently announced Lumix GF3. No idea about the price at Malaysia yet, but these cameras do intrigue me. Never really use a Micro Four Thirds before, would like to get my hands on one! :)

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Cravings

A cup of Chatime's classic pearl milk tea please! 

Its not that the news about Taiwan's plasticizer food scandals are against me of getting one, after all they are tested and proved safe. Its just that I am just too far from any of their outlets. Now that I came to think about all these news, I'm starting to doubt the safety of other pearl milk teas, especially those brandless ones sold at night markets. They seem to bear a higher chance of being carcinogenic, judging from their variety of vivid colours and the cheap price lol. Oh whatever, nothing can beat Chatime's milk teas. ;)

What's happening to the world anyways? From carcinogenic drinks to 'killer cucumbers', nothing seems to be safe for consumption nowadays. So much for a nice chilling drink...

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Paper Camera?


A paper Canon SLR! :D

They even made Leica ones lol.

Paper Canon EOS-1D

Paper Canon EOS 5D

The DSLRs can mount paper lens as well. :O

Super cool man, wonder who has the patience to make one.

Fancy making one for yourself? Just follow the link here. ;)

Panasonic Lumix LX5 vs Canon Powershot S95

Okay so here's the side by side comparison of the LX5 and S95 as promised.
Size wise, of course the LX5 is bigger, heavier.

The Canon S95 has a bigger and brighter LCD screen. The photos do look more vivid in the S95's screen. However, I find that the pictures taken by the S95 don't look as good as seen on its screen. In fact, quite a big difference. Deceiving eh? Or maybe my laptop screen needs to be calibrated lol.

Below are the shots taken by both cameras (images are not edited except for the added wordings).






Auto white balance a bit off for the S95..

Closest both camera can get in focus. (macro shot)

LX5 having a wider angle lens than S95.

Personally prefer the LX5's colour tone, S95's pictures seem whiter.

Night shot, manual mode. (exposure for 6s, f/8.0, ISO 80)

After using the S95 for few days, I noticed that its actually slower than the LX5, in terms of focus speed and startup speed. Also, the S95's battery life is much weaker, almost half of the LX5's. Overall, I still prefer the Lumix LX5, but I do like the pocketability of the S95. Both will make a great camera, it just depends on the user's needs. Oh because my comparison aren't that complete, so I've included the links below. :)

Detailed review of both cameras:
Panasonic Lumix LX5
Canon Powershot S95

Cheers.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Slip Away

Why doesn't my holiday feel like a holiday?

As each day passes by, I feel like my life is slipping away from me. Feeling lost.. What am I supposed to do?

Is this what happens when you part with your 3 years worth of life somewhere else? Here I am in the comforts of home, and yet I feel like I don't belong.

What am I gonna do after this? How am I gonna survive..?

Missing

How's your life, without me?

I used to believe that nothing will come in between of us, but distance do get the best of us. Can't help but wonder why something so strong and yet can be so fragile. Frightening, frustrating.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

无望岁月

有你的微笑就是天堂 曾经我是这么想
当时的全宇宙 不过是个想象 你陪我闯 mmm

原来我无法长出翅膀 彷徨得不到解放
心被紧紧捆绑 无助不能疗伤
我们终于 都变得坚强

无望岁月 抚平昨天受过的伤
走过这趟 我看见爱的模样
就让思念 至少还有个地方能够流浪
无论有多长 回忆不会说谎

无望岁月 原谅我们年少轻狂
某个早上 或许爱就会绽放
就让思念 停留在心里某个深处摆荡
回忆很善良 我不想遗忘.

罗忆诗
(Download link - Mediafire)

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Blank