Round and Around

Many things have been going through my head recently. Graduating, working, money, tenancy, writing a CV, exams, furthering studies etc etc. Once the idea came in, it just got stuck there cause I can't/haven't decide on what I want to do in the future. So well, everything is stuck there in my brain, going round and round. Makes me feel so suffocating.

Changes. They're coming in big scale into my life soon. In a few months' time, I'll be gone from this apartment I've been living in for so long, you won't see me lingering at college, nor walking around at Sunway Pyramid. How weird is that. How terrifying is that. It seems that my life is going to leave me, rather than me leaving things behind.

I hate changes. I'm sure everyone does. Only because of the uncertainties that lie ahead, afraid of leaving for the worse, of leaving a comfort zone of mine. Ugh I'm talking as if I have a choice, and no, I don't. I'm going to have examination on my last two papers in June. I am graduating real soon,  my tenancy is expiring in June. And yes, its good news to my parents, its bad news to me.

I am not willing to work those grinding hours for three years to gain membership in ACCA. But do I have a choice? It is known that auditors will have tough time working. 'Working for 14 hours a day is normal in audit industry...', screw that. Wonder why I didn't hear about it before I enroll into ACCA, all I know then is chartered accountants can get filthy rich. I hear them all the time. And I thought all they do is just to prepare the accounts. 'I like accounts.', I was too naive.

Reality hits when I realised friends around me submitted their CVs for job interview. And I have not even prepared anything. Then everything else came crashing in. How to even write one? What am I supposed to do with it? Whom should I submit it to? What job should I apply for? Which company?

Bang! Bang! Bang!

Tan Ke Yi is dying from a hyperventilating brain.

Us, fresh grads are just like group of sperms all swarming towards the ovum, flocking to the Big Four audit firm. What are the chances that I can get into one, that my CV will be selected, that I'll pass the assessment, and lastly, an interview? And then, how can I even survive 14 hours of work everyday? I don't even want to think about it.

God bless me.