iHate

How things are right now.
How I feel about them.
How I think that there's gotta be something more,
but to be disappointed again and again in the end.
How I tried to force thoughts out of my mind,
but to fail terribly.
How I convinced and comforted myself,
only to discover that I'm not feeling any much better.

Sigh.

Barely a whisper

You don't have to feel like a waste of space,
you're original, cannot be replaced,
if you only know what the future holds,
after a hurricane comes the rainbow.


Maybe you're the reason why all the doors are closed,
so you could open the one that leads you to your soul.

-

Never really celebrated Christmas before, wonder how it feels like to spend a blissful day with loved ones. Oh well, I can only imagine.. :)

Grief

I hate to feel what I'm feeling, to see what I'm seeing and to think what I'm thinking. No matter how I hide or run away, they'll find me again in the end. I have no way to make them go away.

If only there's a button to turn off all of these.

If only...

12.12.2011

“People are afraid to pursue their most important dreams because they feel that they don’t deserve them, or that they’ll be unable to achieve them. We, their hearts, become fearful just thinking of loved ones who go away forever, or of moments that could have been good but weren’t, or of treasures that might have been found but were forever hidden in the sands. Because when these things happen, we suffer terribly.”


Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist.

Value

You can have the latest smartphone, or a brand new laptop, but they serve no purpose if you have no one to communicate with, or anything to do with it. Then, even the state of the art piece of gadget will be rendered useless. Likewise for one's life. It will be empty and worthless, if there is no purpose to it.

I am always realizing things late. Sometimes, too late. When will I learn, I wonder?

It was today

A picture perfect moment, there's the sun, and then there's you. Gleaming eyes, the perfect smile, the enthusiasm in your voice, and I knew the reason why. It was a moment I will never forget. I was reminded how great things were. 

It was a one-way street that I took. One which I regretted terribly. 

Maybe its for the best. I convinced myself, though my heart says otherwise.

I know someday, somebody out there will then replace that place. And they will be the nothing I never was.

Perhaps in a parallel universe, its a happy ending. Maybe therefrom I can get some comfort.