01.01.10

HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone!
I wish you a fantastic year ahead on this very first day of 2010!
Yayy yayy! :D

My resolution for the year:
*to pass all my ACCA papers.
*to study at least a bit harder.
*to enjoy life at the same time!
*to care for people around me.
*to let go of the past, and march head-on into the future!
And the list goes on.

Haha! :)

The One and Only One

Its my 100th post! Anddd,
Its 25.12.09, which means . . . Christmassss day! Ho ho ho! :D

Although I don't celebrate Christmas, but I wish all of you have a happy happy day, and may this magical day brings joy and happiness to you and your family.

Merry Christmas!

xoxo

-

Its someone's special day today too.

Happy Birthday, darling!
I do not know what have become of us,
but still, I wish you well, and may all your dreams come true!
Stay happy always!

-

Something to make this post a lil bit special:

Muuuaaahh!
Believe it or not, its meee!
Cute and adorable, am I not? Okay.. was.
Haha hope this will lighten up your day. :)

[25.12.09]

I'm home!

Just got back here yesterday. During my stay there, I found out that I can actually survive without internet, without feeling any desire to on. Haha. Yayy yayy.

Drove back to my grandmother's place, it was a long journey. . . Ahh, and dad's GPS is finally put to use. Its quite useful. We actually played with it, Haha.

On the day we went there, had this amazing seafood lunch at some restaurant. We had fish, octopus, crabs etc.

Lazy to upload all the photos, here are some of them though:

Octopus, this tastes really gooood.

My favourite, crab porridge.

Well its basically fried crabs, cooked with rice, and wine etc.

Its very yummy I tell you. Haha.

A very satisfying meal indeed. :)

-

Celebrated 冬至 at my grandma's place. We made 汤圆! I don't really like sweet stuffs, but I enjoy making them. :)

Aren't they cute? Haha.

Nom nom nom.

They'll taste nicer if you made them yourself. Hehe.

-
They do not have gates for their house, some don't even have fences.
Well, its a remote place, and I guess people lived in harmony.

Believe it or not, I didn't comb my hair up until now.
That's why I looked like this. Messymessyhair. -.-

Haha.

Anyway, enjoyed my life there. Its a very peaceful place, with merry people. My aunts are all friendly people, they've been very nice towards us.

Oh, and I'm never hungry there. Laksa almost everyday, yums, I'll never grow tired of it. Haha.

Anddd, having someone to talk to all the time, even through the night. How can I ever get bored? ;)

[22.11.09]

This post is due for a very long time.
It was for Hwee San's birthday on 22nd of November. Hahaha.
Sorry for the delay.

The night before her birthday, we went to Thai Thai:




I'm feeling hungry already! Haha.



There're only five of us, others went back hometown already. :(


Went to Ice Monster for dessert after that. ^^

2nd day(her birthday), everyone came back already.
And so we planned for another surprise for her that night. :)
She went out for celebration with her classmates,
little did she know that we're waiting to surprise her at hostel! Haha! :D
Well, that surprise in her room was a success! Hehe.


The birthday girl.
Note the dress she's wearing, its our present for her.
And the Minnie headband, its from Jade. :)


Noo, it wasn't me! Haha.

All of us was around, except for Cath.
Apparently Bf is more important. -.-


But we did have fun immitating her! Haha! That was funny!


Cheers!
Those pink-coloured liquid are not bad after all. Haha.


Love you all! ♥

[17.12.09]

Is back home today!
Gosh, how many things had changed since the last time I left here.
Time really flies.

Exam finished on Monday, which sucked totally.
Know why? Because my 老毛病 chose to attack during exam. -.-
Was not feeling so well before exam, heart's beating irregularly.
Couldn't focus during exam, was not feeling well.
I was seeing white spots, and fingers starting to to go numb,
cramp after that.
Despite that, forced myself to continue to write
Torturous.
And the exam hall is damn coldd. -.-

Called Cai Ling to find me right after exam and she walked me back.
It was raining.
Vomited twice that night, fever.
I really don't know what's wrong with me.
Of all times, it chose that time to visit.
My F5!! Ugh.

Anyway, I'm grateful.
Thanks to everyone who took care of me.
Thanks Jade.
You all are the best. :)

Oh and I forgot to announce:
KEYI'S ON HOLIDAY! :D
Yeah!~

Officially Missing You

[09.12.09]

Exam drives people crazy:

Burn midnight oil.


Studying at the balcony..!


Mental breakdown. Haha.

Finished my first two papers of ACCA, taxation and law.
I really hope I can pass all my papers..
First class honor for OBU requires an average of 69 marks for every paper.
Looks like its something unachievable and impossible for me.

Why hadn't I put in more effort before this? *bang own head to the wall, continuously*
Here I am regretting again. -.-

Costing's on next Monday - last round.
加油！
Counting down the days, I'm really desperate for a break!
Mentally and physically tired.
Sigh.
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
不知不觉 夜深了。
今晚怎么失眠了。
头痛来袭，应该是受不了这两天的折磨吧。
呵呵。

凌晨四点了吗？
在此祝那两个小鬼 一路顺风，疯癫愉快，
还有，满载而归？哈哈。

好想去旅行！
期待着那某年某月的某一天的到来。

一个不再属于我的世界。
遗失的美好，找不回。
余留的，只是回忆和伤感。

一秒也好

我关上了门 最后一次听你说我们
熟悉变陌生 把我往记忆里扔
我应该习惯你离去的眼神
才能让失去你变的更完整

窗外的街灯还在努力掩饰着早晨
我的叹息成真了整夜的苦闷
我该努力习惯这样的气氛
才发现失去了爱不用再等

我知道我的一切你已不想要
即使在乎也只让你想逃
我不相信这全是种煎熬
原来你只是那么难预料

早已看穿没有我想要的好
我的等待换不到你拥抱
只能让回忆短暂的炫耀
原来任性对彼此都不好

清晨的街灯唤开了城市中的心门
我的等待成真了整夜的苦闷
我努力在你的回忆里狂奔
才了解失去了爱不用再等

多想再一次紧紧的拥抱
就算给我一秒也好
一秒可以给多少我都想要

我知道我的一切你已不想要
即使在乎也只让你想逃
我不相信这全是种煎熬
原来爱你是那么难预料

早已看穿没有我想要的好
我的等待换不到你拥抱
只好让回忆短暂的炫耀
原来任性对彼此都不好
让回忆继续反复炫耀
原来失去对彼此都不好

[03.12.09]

Its December already. Omg how time flies! >.<
Finals are around the corner! Been trying to study hard for it. Why am I always regretting around this time? Not concentrating enough in class, not giving my all. I’m always wishing to do everything all over again, but I guess by then I’ll take the same path again? Pathetic. I’m just one lazy girl who’s so lucky that she didn’t fail her exams all these while. (seriously lucky) -.-

Life, all the paths we’ve taken, made us who we are. And I hope the one I’m taking now is the right choice. Not going to worry so much about it, instead, I’m going to do my best for now. Hope everything will turn out fine.

Doomsdays:
7th for F6 – Taxation.
8th for F4 – Business Law.
14th for F5 – Performance Management. (costing)
Time - 1500-1815

Its my first round of ACCA exam. I really hope I won’t fail. I don’t wish to disappoint or let my parents worry about my studies. The results are going to be very different as compared to CAT’s. All the best to everyone taking exams this month, and that includes me!

-

They came last week to visit. My 2 sisters and my dad. Brother’s taking SPM so he’s busy with his last minute work. Good luck to him. ^^ We went to watch Christmas Carol, then lunch at BBQ Plaza. Haven’t seen them for ages, and I suddenly realized that XinYi is taller than me?? Omg I’m feeling old. -.- And I have a hunch that Jiayi's going to follow suit. Shit I'm gonna start drinking milk everyday. Not going to let the 2 monkeys bully. ;p


Pyramid's full of Christmas decorations, the lights near the entrance are really magnificent. Too bad didn't take any pictures, YET. xP
Ooh I'm so desperate for a holiday!
And I miss home-cooked food!

Anyways, there may be a family vacation at the end of December. :D

-

Badminton tomorrow with Hwee San and perhaps Jade too? I’m gonna exercise! Yeah.
And breakfast with Ivy in the morning! :)
In the meantime, back to studies! Or, maybe sleep? Haha kidding.
Wish me luck!

[20.11.09]

Sometimes life may be depressing.
Feeling lost, wandering aimlessly..

Hectic life may have made you overlooked some things.
Things that may have been significant.
Its just that you have been blinded all this while..

Just pause and look around you.
Whom you have being there for you.
It may not be that special someone,
but there are still lines of supports from others,
thinking for you.

Work hard, for them,
for yourself.
Make your own life better.

Love,
what it may be?
Hurting? Painful?
Then let go..!

Happy endings are indeed surreal.
We don't always get the things we want in life,
and they might not always go the way you want them to,
or how you expect them to.
Letting go, is the best choice.
Then you'll realise things aren't so bad after all.

Life is always full of worries and problems,
what we need to learn, is to look beyond them.
And its always the simple things in life that we take for granted.
Cherish!
After all, we have only one life to live.
Seize each day and make the most it!

想！

想逛逛。
想疯狂。
但是必须顾虑很多。
好怀念过去的日子。

想家了。
想喝汤。
想吃饭。
简简单单一餐就好。
现在来说，是多么的难得。

想开心。
想不去理会。
想自由自在。
可以吗？

想控制。
想掩饰。
但还是让它放肆了。
收得太多，溢出来了。

想要简简单单的生活。
可为什么偏要把它复杂化？

被淹没了。
一直在挣扎。
连呼吸都困难。

想太多，也没结果。
反而饿了！ -.-
深呼吸，
生活依旧继续。
好吧，睡觉去！

[15.11.09]

彻底失望了，就放弃。
越不去理会，就能过得越自在。
我想，可是却做不到。
也许需要的是时间。
为什么到最后，收拾残局的人是我？
想摆脱这一切，却被绑得紧紧的 。
你是不懂，还是在死缠烂打？

现在，要紧的是学业。
不能这样下去了。
这一切，摆到一边去。
加油！

[14.11.09]

忽然间，觉得你很可悲。
从前从前，我们一直陪在你身边，是真心的。
可是却比你那班猪朋狗友逊色。

好的，留给你。
坏的，不应该的，也劝了你。
你却把它当耳边风。
你做不对的，也没人责怪你。

大家失望了一回，对你也心灰意冷了，
普通朋友一场，也就算了。
大家都不说了。

该做的，都做了。
该说的，都说了。
现在，又嫌我们这的那的？

被朋友抛弃时，尝到滋味了吧？
男朋友亏待你，伤心了吧？
考试做不好，怕了吧？
何必当初呢？

可笑的是，现在听着你说心事的人是我，
那个傻傻的我。

那我呢？

[07.11.09]

From this:



To this:



Pure luck though. :)

[06.11.09]*

Woohoo, its my 19th today,
Celebrated with housemates and friends.
Was deeply touched and grateful for everything! :)
Thanks for all the efforts to make everything a surprise and special!
It was an awesome one. Hehe.

I was overwhelmed.
The surprises, many things just happened so quickly.
Still trying to catch up. Haha.

In the night before, we celebrated at Pizza Hut.
Our initial purpose was more to celebrate Michelle's birthday,
but turned out that she had to go off early, so its just me in the end. Haha.
And suddenly my housemates all turned up!
Thanks to Jade for planning! :)
Surprise #1. :D


They gave me 2 t-shirts, one soft toy, a watch, a cake and birthday cards too! Haha. Thanks to Cath and Hwee San for decorating the cake. :)
Surprise #2. :)


Got back to hostel and was surprised again.
They lighted up candles in the room together with the cake.
And when I opened the door, they sang the birthday song.
Awwww. ;)
Surprise #3. Haha.


Siao Li and Cai Ling made an adorable card for me.
Surprise #4.


Thanks to SL's mum too for the money!
Surprise #5. Heheh!
sry jade, made you went through all the troubles when getting back. :S
Group pic:


On the next day, went to have lunch at 如家's. ^^
Together with Jade, Cath, Cai Ling, and Hwee San.


Went to watch Phobia 2 afterwards.

Not bad. Scary and funny. Hahah!

Went to have ShiLin's at a dessert shop at Asian Avenue.
Yums~ :P
Went back afterwards.
Happy happy day! :)


Surprise #6. :D

THANKS again! :)
Keyi.

[24.10.09]

A lot has been going on for the past few days.
Mock on Tuesday till Thursday, and it felt like forever. -.-
Was very depressed, wanted to pass my exams,
but couldn't find the motivation to study. Ugh.

Went to Pyramid on Wednesday with Jade. Hehe.

Steamboat at hostel with housemates on Thursday night. ;)
Yumms!
Played truth or dare. Omg the questions were... -.-
Anyway it was fun!
They watched 200 Pounds Beauty till 4am,
but I missed out cause fell asleep on Siao Li's bed.
Too tired I suppose. Haha.

Pyramid again on Friday.
Was to celebrate Ivy's birthday on 24th in advance.
We went to Pasta Zanmai. Again. Woohoo. :D


Happy 19th Birthday Ivy!! :)

The food there were delicious. Was damn full.

2nd round of steamboat that night. Haha.
Jade's around too.
After that, housemates were complaining too boring of a night,
and so we took a cab to SS15. Haha.
Went to Snowflakes, AC afterwards. :D
What a day!

Holiday just started.
Yayy! :)

*plan to visit Siao Li at Malacca next week. Who wanna come? Hehe.

[17.10.09]

想家，
不是那地方，
而是那温馨，
那份莫名的感觉。

我以为，
我做得到。
一直以来都享受着
一个人的生活。
可是今天不知怎么了。
每当看见空荡荡的房间，
那份安静，
是如此的难受，
不得不胡思乱想。
也许我，太想念了。

今天下雨了。
一股冷冷的风吹着。
一丝丝的雨淋着。
我，怎么了？

现在的我，
想努力，
至少为自己付出一些，
可是该从哪里开始呢？

[09.10.09]

Introducing... :

Orphan. Tada! :P

Finished watching this horror movie with my housemates. Wanted to watch at the cinema but didn't have the chance to. Downloaded it instead. :)
This girl, Esther, really gives me the creeps. Look at her man, something's really wrong with her. Seriously sick. Lol.
We were freaking out and scaring each other with our screaming. Haha.

"People outside were wondering what's wrong, I can hear you all screaming from faraway," said Siao Li.

HAHA.

Anyway, it was a good horror movie. Creepy, horrifying, very disturbing indeed. Not to mention well acted. Haha.
Will be spending the night with lights on. :S

What would your reaction be? ;P

Keyi.

Two Is Better Than One

I remember what you wore on the first day
You came into my life
And I thought hey
You know this could be something
'Cause everything you do and words you say
You know that it all takes my breath away
And now I'm left with nothing

So maybe it's true, that I can't live without you
Maybe two is better than one
But There's so much time, to figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking two, is better than one

I remember every look upon your face,
The way you roll your eyes, the way you taste
You make it hard for breathing
'Cause when I close my eyes and drift away
I think of you and everythings okay
And finally now, believing

And maybe it's true, that I can't live without you
Well maybe two is better than one
But there's so much time, to figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking two, is better than one

Oooh I can't live without you
'Cause baby two is better than one
There's so much time, to figure out the rest of my life
And I've figured out with all that's said and done
Two, is better than one.

[05.10.09]

Witnessed today,
how love had turned into something so ice-cold.

How fondness can turn into awkwardness,
or I might say, into hatred.

How things can change so drastically,
and how people can accept it so casually,
and live on like nothing happened.

Also,
how love can be like a knife,
which plunges so deep into your heart.
How it can make people behave so stupidly.
How it can make people go crazy.

And yet,
make someone on top of the world
just by one insignificant word.

This is one cruel world.
And we all are living in it.

I'm trying my best, but there's nothing I can do.

Keyi.

[02.10.09]

I'm worried of him.
He's been having hearing problems,
and it just got worse as days pass by.
Also, poor memory.
He's been repeating a lot lately.
And couldn't remember what I told him.

Time is one cruel thing.
It makes you go through the ups and downs.
Then it takes things away from you as you grew older.
Youth, health, memories, etc.
Relentlessly.

I've been away for a long time,
or either too unobservant to notice,
the hints of silvery hair growing out of your scalp,
the new wrinkles forming almost everywhere,
but still,
you're always the wise and funny dad,
that I had always remember.

I'll just pray hard.
What more can I do?

My heart is always home,
Keyi.

[29.09.09]

Advice of the day:
Never go near the bed if you have not slept in the night before.

Consequences of non-compliance:
Waking up with:
A dream that doesn't makes sense
An aching back and neck
An almost-bursting bladder
To-do list put on hold
A waiting friend on MSN
Fun missed out
Mouse wire tangled all over
Hyperventilating laptop
An exhausted body.

Add-ons:
Tripping over some wires on the floor
while rushing to the toilet
and tada!
A painful bum.

Note to self:
Never ever lie on the bed if you're not sleeping.
Never put anything on the bed except for pillows.
Always look out for the massive amount of wires on the floor.

Things to do:
Run up to the fourth floor of this building and jump down.

Verified by,
Keyi.

[28.09.09]

It was just another day,
some brand new day I would say.
Stayed up the whole night,
was in some sort of dreamy state,
don't know what's wrong with me. :S
Got some fresh moods this morning,
and so went college to study!

Okay people grab your coats,
its gonna snow later.
Haha.

It was Yvonne's birthday on Thursday,
went to celeb at Marche's, The Curve on Friday night.
Happy Belated Birthday, Yvonne! :)

We are all getting old. :(
Better live life to the fullest!

Keyi.

Thinking of You

Comparisons are easily done
Once you've had a taste of perfection
Like an apple hanging from a tree
I picked the ripest one
I still got the seed

You said move on
Where do I go
I guess second best
Is all I will know

You're like an Indian summer
In the middle of winter
Like a hard candy
With a surprise center
How do I get better
Once I've had the best
You said there's
Tons of fish in the water
So the waters I will test

He kissed my lips
I taste your mouth
He pulled me in
I was disgusted with myself

Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into...

You're the best
And yes I do regret
How I could let myself
Let you go
Now the lesson's learned
I touched it I was burned
Oh I think you should know

Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into your eyes
Looking into your eyes
Looking into your eyes
Oh won't you walk through
And bust in the door
And take me away
Oh no more mistakes
Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay...
stay....

[21.09.09]

Back at home!
Was sick. Ugh how I hate having flu!
Anyways,
was being spoilt back here.
All I do is just eat and sleep.
Haha.

Parents.
A bit crazy aren't they?
Thinking for their child all the time.
Everything that they do,
there are nothing which are not done for our sake,
for their child's sake.
As if they're obsessed.
As if their whole life are dedicated to insignificant person like me.
And its just not worth it,
but they're still doing it.
Crazy I call it.
Isn't it?
Haha no offence..

Doing all the chores,
working or not working,
or even when they sleep,
they always think for us,
of our safety,
of our wellbeing.

Thinking back,
how many times have I ever think and done something for them?
Its not that I didn't,
it just cant compare to them.

Appreciate,
that's what I kept telling myself,
and to others too.
But life's funny sometimes,
you won't start appreciating until you lost it?
I'm glad that it won't happen to me,
as I have realised long time ago,
and I have always, and always will be,
appreciative thankful of my parents,
and love them! :)

I'd rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are.
because a could-be is a maybe who is reaching for a star.
I'd rather be a has-been than a might-have-been, by far.
for a might have-been has never been,
but a has was once an are.

Keyi.

[18.09.09]

Woooots fell asleep yesterday,
no alarm set for today's morning class,
and so... woke up at 7.45+! -.-
Was rushing like a crazy woman. Haha.

After class was still rushing around,
from atm machine to financial office,
to pay for hostel rental,
graduation ceremony...

Went to Neway with Jade after that,
huhu who'd have expect that its fully occupied.
Reserved a room then walked to SS15.
Tong Sui, yums~

Ladies free for neway club members.
Hoho.
Sang for 3 hours, not enough.
Then another session for 2 hours!
Total of 5 hours+ and costed around RM21.
Woohooo~ ;D

Had an adventure in getting back at night.
Was raining! =x
Hoho what a day!

Falling in love is awfully simple,
but falling out of love is simply awful.

Keyi.

[09.09.09]*

Okay I shall dedicate this post today to my favourite number - 9!
A deep and mysterious number.
Do you know that any number which is multipled by 9, will end up to be 9 when the figures are added up together?

3x9=27
2+7=9

11x9=99
9+9=81, 8+1=9

In other words, any number which sums up to be 9, is divisible by 9.

Or

Take any two numbers to add to 9. The sum of the two digits resulting from the equation will be equal to sum of the two numbers used to add to 9.

36+9=45
(3+6=9), (4+5=9)

69+9=78
(6+9=15), (7+8=15)

Amazing right? ^^

And most importantly, my birthday:
6+1+1+1+9+9+0=27
2+7=9!

Hahaa, today shall be my lucky day! I need it a lot since I'm having my law exam today! LOL!
Wish me luck!... :)

[12.08.09]

PT1 ended today.
As usual, I was being last minute.
Didn't sleep much this few days,
SL's worse than me, not sleeping lol..
Everyone's burning midnight oil..

Strange thing is, I did not feel exhausted,
not even now..
Haha, maybe I had too much rests before this. xP

Anyways, law sucks, tax and costing was okay though.
Maybe I'll fail my law paper.. Wth..
Everything's heavier now.
You can feel it when you're doing the exam questions.
I was writing non-stop for 3 hours and 15 minutes for the costing paper,
and yet I wasn't able to finish it.. lol..
Never mind, at least I had things to write.

Today skipped class and went to watch G.I Joe after the exam.


Saw the Case 39 trailer again, I wanna watch that!
And Final Destination 4 too!
Haha.. >.<

5 days more to the truth to stay or fall..
We shall see..
It'll be sad to part with some of them..
But it'll be a relief too for the others.

Keyi

Could It Be You

Close my eyes, I try to hide
I'm listening to my voice inside
Why don't you tell me right or wrong?
I need to know where I belong

For all the days I ran away
I never dared to ask, "Who could I be?
Who can bring back the love that's inside me?"

Could it be you or do I lose my way?
I'm here but colorblind
Could it be you or do I break away?
So leave the past behind

I only wanna feel the sunlight, stop the fight
And see it in your eyes

Wish I just knew what I should do
Could it be you?
Somebody tell me if it's true, I don't have a clue
Could it be you?

Too many things said and done
Sure if you could be the one
To dry the tears I left behind
To chase these demons off my mind

I see your face and touch your skin
Is this a fight we both can't win?
Sometimes the truth is miles apart
But it's hard to break your heart

Baby, I don't wanna waste your love
Thought it's hard to just walk on
But will this search be never-ending?
Where do I belong?

Could it be you or do I lose my way?
I'm here but colorblind
Could it be you or do I break away
Just to leave the past behind?

I only wanna feel the sunlight, stop the fight
And see it in your eyes

Wish I just knew what I should do
Could it be you?
Somebody tell me if it's true, I don't have a clue
Could it be you?

Maybe it is me who's too blind to see that it's you
For everything I am, everything I need, lies in you.

[01.08.09]

Some people in this world just never know how to appreciate.
I don't know whether they are blind or what
maybe they're too stupid or immature to realize
that things around them are so rare and precious.

In the time of loneliness,
there's always someone by their side,
but they'll just moan and complain.
Another thing is they never account for
other people's feelings.
In the event of other people being lonely,
did they ever think of them?

If you want others to treat you the way you wanted
then shouldn't you treat them the same way too?
What do you expect?
When you're wrong, you blame others.
What rule is that?

Lucky already,
when people around you can cope up with your immature thinking,
and your attitude.
Playing with other people's feelings.
We are not your play toys.

Frustrated,
Keyi.

[31.07.09]

The last day of the month, a day which somehow is a little bit different from the others. Everyone's been giving a piece of their mind, and suddenly I felt the changes of the people around me. Maybe I was too caught up with other things that I didn't seem to notice them. I can see changes in things that I never thought there would be, in people mostly. Some are not as bad as I thought they were, some are getting on my nerves, and some just remain static. I won't justify, but I can say that things are a bit different now than they are then.


Will things ever be the same again? When someone is no longer of importance, when whatever that was said and done are not within the boundaries of caring, when absences are well accepted? What was left? Can things be undone? Someone asked me, "on the other side of the love coin is hatred, but when hatred's gone, what's left?", what's left? Hatred, I'm never in that stage. Never will be I guess.
My feelings are all jumbled up, I can't untangle them, nor can I ignore them. What can I do? What am I supposed to do? What else there is to do? Being in this quicksand, I can't help but struggle, and the more that I did, the deeper that I sink..

I'll Come for You

Just one more moment, that's all that's needed
Like wounded soldiers in need of healing
Time to be honest, this time I'm pleading
Please don't dwell on it, cause I didn't mean it.
Everyday I spend away, my soul's inside out
Gotta be someway that I can make it up to you now, somehow.

By now you know that I'd come for you
No one but you, yes I'd come for you
But only if you told me to
And I'd fight for you
I'd lie, it's true
Give my life for you
You know I'd always come for you.

I was blindfolded, but now I'm seeing
My mind was closing, now I'm believing
I finally know just what it means to let someone in
To see the side of me that no one does or ever will
So if you're ever lost and find yourself all alone
I'd search forever just to bring you home,
Here and now, it's a vow.

No matter what gets in my way
As long as there's still life in me
I'd crawl across this world for you
Do anything you want me to
No matter what, remember
You know I'll always come for you.

What Hurts The Most

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out

I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while even though
Going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm okay
But that's not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away

And never knowing
What could've been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doing it
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still harder getting up, getting dressed, living with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away

And never knowing
What could've been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

What hurts the most...

Lifeless

Defibrillator.
That's what I need.
Yea I think so.

I'm losing it.
Everything.
Its all going to pieces.

Half a year break?
Come on.
Its completely out of topic.

A break,
is not what I needed.
Although I desperately wanted to believe so.

I haven't been listening to you,
Sorry.

Lifeless as you are now,
my dear heart.?
"Defibrillator! Please!"
Perhaps a pacemaker too?

Or are you already gone?

Too dark to see,
too hard to breathe.

Too painful to think,
too difficult to ignore.

Too much to lose,
too little time.

It's coming fast,
I can't bear.

It's everywhere,
even in the air I breathe.

Struggling,
fighting.

What's left?

Memories,
frozen in time.

There I am,
living through the shadow.

Falling faster,
barely breathing.

Nowhere to go,
but going out of my mind.

Give me something to believe in.

Nightmares

Nightmares.
They seem real, but actually not.
They might confuse you with the truth,
but in the end you'll know.
At least they're better,
since sooner or later you'll realize that it's not true,
that it's not happening,
that it's just your mind playing tricks.
Which you can choose to ignore,
without any consequences.

But it's not the same with what's really happening.
I guess we'll just have to live through it.
And life goes on...

[11.07.09]

Today went to pyramid to meet Michelle and the gang. Its been a long time since I last saw her. She had to defer her ACCA as she didn't take her T8 and T9 Final papers. She had chicken pox that time. I miss having her around in class, she's fun to be with, a clever person as well. We went to Shi Lin to have our lunch then walked around and shopped in Pyramid.

There's Mega Sales in Pyramid so they practically went crazy. Haha. Well, no effect on me since the things are not exactly in my boundary of liking. On me of course, not others, heheh. However, I always enjoy accompanying others to shop. Excitements hoho!
I accidentally met Cath at Forever 21, was shocked to see her. She went shopping on her own. Said was too bored in hostel lol. Later in the day, I joined her as Kacang came as well. Went to Wong Kok with them after she shopped around.

Went back to hostel afterwards. And now, I'm at Circle. Heheh. Three guys singing, nice harmony~ ~.~

It seems like they were okay already. Thank god for that.

Keyi

疯

想知道你是否还是一样
有没有学会比较坚强
你快乐的背后　有失望
你何曾在意当时我也是这样被你伤

想明白为何对我那么冷淡
有回来　故事会不会是这样
明知道你不会再回头看
我还是一直以为
一直以为有希望

像疯了一样
越想你就越心伤
我多么爱你
却难逃你的魔掌

像疯了一样
你缺少了安全感
你让我多么难堪
却还是一样把我伤

想明白为何对我那么冷淡
有回来　故事会不会是这样
明知道你不会再回头看
我还是一直以为
一直以为有希望

像疯了一样
越想你就越心伤
我多么爱你
却难逃你的魔掌

像疯了一样
你缺少了安全感
你让我多么难堪
却还是一样把我伤

No Boundaries

Seconds, hours, so many days
You know what you want, but how long can you wait
Every moment last forever
When you feel you've lost your way

What if my chances were already gone
I started believing that I could be wrong
But you give me one good reason
To fight and never walk away

So here I am, still holding on

With every step, you climb another mountain
Every breath, it's harder to believe
You'll make it through the pain, weather the hurricanes
To get to that one thing

Just when you think the road is going nowhere
Just when you almost gave up on your dreams
They take you by the hand and show you that you can
There are no boundaries.

I fought to the limit, to stand on the edge
What if today is as good as it gets?
Don't know where the future's heading
But nothing's gonna bring me down

I've jumped every bridge and I've run every line
I risked being safe but I always knew why
I always knew why

So here I am, still holding on

With every step, you climb another mountain
Every breath, it's harder to believe
You'll make it through the pain, weather the hurricanes
To get to that one thing

Just when you think the road is going nowhere
Just when you almost gave up on your dreams
They take you by the hand and show you that you can

You can go higher, you can go deeper
There are no boundaries above and beneath you
Break every rule 'cause there's nothing between you
And your dreams.